Names have been changed to protect the innocent...and my husband...and me...but not the dog. His name is Dexter.

Monday, February 28, 2011

The Problem With Self Deprecation

I confess. I self deprecate myself. It's just the way my personal sense of humor leans. I like funny. I appreciate it in others and on the rare occasion when I make a funny. Funny is good. Most of the time. But sometimes funny can be mean. Really mean. And then? It's not quite so funny.

So, my "humor" tends to lean toward the self deprecating kind. With a side of sarcasm. And I'm okay with that. It's not really mean and, frankly, I have lots of material to work with. See? Right there? Self deprecating. But I'm okay with that because I know I didn't just hurt my feelings.

I make jokes all the time about my many varied inabilities and the fact that I would probably be more successful in life if I had constant adult supervision. The thing is, most of the time I'm joking or just making light of a situation. I don't really consider myself to be the best at anything, but I manage to get through the day. I know how to make crafts, but I do other things as well. And in all painful, TMI honesty, I'm a total perfectionist when it comes to crafts so I take WAY too long on things. Which is why I don't do a lot of crafty things with other people. I can sew. Kinda. I don't have a great singing voice, but I can carry a tune well enough to make up songs that make my girls laugh.

But I've recently realized something. Not everyone gets that I'm joking. Some people actually think that when I sarcastically say something about my various "abilities" that I'm actually being serious. I've had more than one person say to me, "It's so easy even you can do it". Not in a joking way, either. In a "supportive" way. Of course, if someone is that rude, then I don't actually consider them to be supportive in any way.

But the reality is that I think it's far better to say something self deprecating than to say something mean about someone else. For me it usually relieves the tension. If someone is struggling with something in their life and see you as being successful at it, I feel way better making a joke about myself than telling them how awesome I am at "XYZ". The only purpose that serves is to make them feel worse. Again, not funny.

So I will continue on in my self deprecating ways. Although, perhaps my "sense of humor" isn't all that funny after all. Either that or I'm surrounded by people who think I'm an idiot.

Oh wait...that would explain a few things.....

Friday, February 25, 2011

Cycling + Donuts=Utah Tour De Donut

Have you ever thought to yourself, "Self, if only there was a cycling event that included donuts. Then, I would totally be there!". Well, then do I have the EVENT of the year for you!

It's a 21-mile bike race that include a donut station every 7 miles. EVERY SEVEN MILES! And for every donut you eat, they will deduct time off your race finishing time. Yes, that means that it's encouraged to eat as many donuts as possible while still be able to ride a bike afterward to the finish line. You are rewarded for stuffing as many donuts as possible into your mouth without choking. It's really what every athletic event is missing.

And guess who's going to be playing this year? Why, yours truly, of course. I'm lucky enough to be on a very fun team with Camille, Emily and two of Emily's friends that I've never met. They're going to let me be o their team even with the constant threat of public humiliation that is my life. I'm so excited!

Not only is this event fun and challenging, it's also for a good cause. It helps benefit the Rotary Club of American Fork and the Huntsman Cancer Society. And really, it benefits you. Not only do you get to work towards completing a 21-mile race (and all the benefits that entails) but you get to eat donuts. And have fun!

Come! Have fun with us. Although I'm still in negotiations with CG, it's looking like he'll be participating in the race while pulling the girls in the bike trailer. He has the legs for it while I just...don't. The best thing about this event is that it really is for everyone. Single riders, teams, families, tandem riders, everyone! And if you can't/don't want to race, then everyone is still welcome to come and cheer along for your favorite team.

Race details:
Tour de Donut
Saturday July 16, 2011
American Fork, Utah

Be sure to register now for the Early Bird pricing. You can go here for all your registering needs. Be sure to let them know I sent you and let me know so that I can be sure to hunt you down in a totally non-stalker way the day of the race. And give them some fan love on Facebook as well.

I'll see YOU there! I'll be the one on the Huffy mountain bike. Yeah, baby!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Two Dumb Things I Did This Week

Dumb Thing #1-

After a long night of sick Babs and general house upset, we were rushing to get both Lolly and CG ready and out the door for their day. CG requested that I make his lunch and asked that I make a sandwich and send a can of green beans in his lunch as well. Being the dutiful wife that I am, I followed the directions and plopped that can of green beans in his lunch bag without a second thought.

Later that night we were discussing his day and he brought up the green beans. And then, over 12 hours later, it hit me. He doesn't have a can opener at work. He always opens it at home and takes it in a container to heat and eat later on.


Dumb Thing #2-A Conversation

Me: Can we swing by the library while we're out? I need to return a book today.
CG: Why today?
Me: I couldn't renew it online because someone has requested it.
CG: Was it good?
Me: I don't know. I kept forgetting I had it and didn't get a chance to read it.
CG: What book was it?
Me: (pause) Women With ADD.

After we stopped laughing....
CG: Maybe you should reserve that book again.
Me: Probably. If I remember.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day!

Have A Sweet Day!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Chinese New Years Celebration

This year our Chinese New Years Celebration came a little late, thanks to the stupid flu, and it involved Chinese take out and watching America's Funniest Home Videos. It was fun AND multi-cultural.

Monday, February 7, 2011

My Poor Babies

My girls are sick. I hate it when my girls are sick. Hate. It. There are all the conventional reasons to hate it like the lack of sleep and the propensity to catching vomit on my clothing. But, really, those aren't the biggest reasons. The real reason.

The real reason is painful. It is actually, physically painful to see my babies sick. To hear their exhausted coughs and sad little sniffling. Babs has started telling me that she doesn't want to be sick anymore because the coughs hurt her tummy. It's misery watching their misery.

There is one thing that comes from this though. When my children are sick, I find myself feeling more gratitude. When I see my children struggling with being sick I am profoundly grateful for healthy children. Because I know that the cold will pass, the flu will go away (right? please say yes) and they will go back to being healthy, happy kids.

But not all kids are that lucky. And not all mom's are that lucky. And my heart goes out to those mom's with chronically ill children that much more. Because for them, it's not just a simple matter of being fever-free for 24 hours before they can return to normal.

So, as much as I hate it when my babies are sick, I will keep counting my blessings. Because there are so very many. Starting, and ending, with my girls. Pass the Kleenex, please.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I'm Famous! Kinda. And Still Alive! Sorta.

So remember my whining from yesterday? I have the flu. The FLU, people! The doctor put me on Tamiflu and it has had the amazing ability to not make me feel any better at all. But that's okay. Because I have good news!

Finding Your House Style, my very first ever article for Mormon Mommy Blogs, is up! Yay!! I'm going to write articles about interior design and decorating on a budget. For as long as they let me. So, go on over and check me out! And let me know if I totally suck. But please do it in a nice way because I'm feeling a little delicate right now.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Don't Cough On Me

On Sunday morning I was sitting in church. CG was sitting next to me and the only other person sitting within six feet of us was a woman sitting behind us. We were in the chapel so there was plenty of room to spread out.

As I sat listening to the lesson I couldn't help but notice the background noise. There was a lot of this background noise. There was coughing and hacking and horking out pieces of lung. It was a cacophony of disease. It reached the point that I could no longer focus on the lesson because I was so distracted and twitched violently with each new snort. It was all I could to sit through the lesson without jumping up and spraying everyone with disinfectant as I ran screaming from the room. But I didn't do that. Being all refined and stuff. I did leave the room though. But not before making one disastrous mistake.

I shook the bishops hand.

The bishop, who had probably shaken every hand in the room. And I didn't think to use hand sanitizer after because he looked healthy. I know. I'm a disappointment to germ freaks everywhere.

And here I am, three days later, sick, sick, sick. And a little mad. Okay, a lot mad. Although I was fine when I went to bed last night, by 4 AM I was coughing and gasping for breath. And panicking a little. And because of this, I didn't get to go to my Lolly girl's class today to help out. It is the highlight of our week. Hence the mad part.

I don't understand why people do this. It's like they somehow think that if they choose to go to work/church/whatever when they are sick then they are somehow superior to those that stay home.

If you are sick, STAY HOME. Please.
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