Names have been changed to protect the innocent...and my husband...and me...but not the dog. His name is Dexter.

Monday, February 28, 2011

The Problem With Self Deprecation

I confess. I self deprecate myself. It's just the way my personal sense of humor leans. I like funny. I appreciate it in others and on the rare occasion when I make a funny. Funny is good. Most of the time. But sometimes funny can be mean. Really mean. And then? It's not quite so funny.

So, my "humor" tends to lean toward the self deprecating kind. With a side of sarcasm. And I'm okay with that. It's not really mean and, frankly, I have lots of material to work with. See? Right there? Self deprecating. But I'm okay with that because I know I didn't just hurt my feelings.

I make jokes all the time about my many varied inabilities and the fact that I would probably be more successful in life if I had constant adult supervision. The thing is, most of the time I'm joking or just making light of a situation. I don't really consider myself to be the best at anything, but I manage to get through the day. I know how to make crafts, but I do other things as well. And in all painful, TMI honesty, I'm a total perfectionist when it comes to crafts so I take WAY too long on things. Which is why I don't do a lot of crafty things with other people. I can sew. Kinda. I don't have a great singing voice, but I can carry a tune well enough to make up songs that make my girls laugh.

But I've recently realized something. Not everyone gets that I'm joking. Some people actually think that when I sarcastically say something about my various "abilities" that I'm actually being serious. I've had more than one person say to me, "It's so easy even you can do it". Not in a joking way, either. In a "supportive" way. Of course, if someone is that rude, then I don't actually consider them to be supportive in any way.

But the reality is that I think it's far better to say something self deprecating than to say something mean about someone else. For me it usually relieves the tension. If someone is struggling with something in their life and see you as being successful at it, I feel way better making a joke about myself than telling them how awesome I am at "XYZ". The only purpose that serves is to make them feel worse. Again, not funny.

So I will continue on in my self deprecating ways. Although, perhaps my "sense of humor" isn't all that funny after all. Either that or I'm surrounded by people who think I'm an idiot.

Oh wait...that would explain a few things.....

9 comments:

Kristina P. said...

Huh, that's weird. I totally thought you would qualify for adult services. You put on a good act! ;)

Emily said...

I totally get your humor. We are friends.

Mr. & Mrs. Alveybunch said...

Well I like you even if somebody else doesn't understand you. I am sorry that someone wasn't very nice to you. I think some people have a very odd way of trying to be friendly sometimes. I hope you feel happier soon! Just go turn on a good song and dance with your babies until you are dizzy!

Barbaloot said...

I think we self-depricate ourselves so others won't. Or maybe that's just me:)

Happy Granny said...

Humor is a subtle thing and sometimes people put their foot in their mouth, and end up being a bit hurtful or rude. Best thing, though, is that your friends and family love you you for who you are, and the ones who use the foot-in-mouth method may need to just switch to self-deprecating, so when they offend someone it will only be themselves, and then they'll do better the next time. Ok, so that is a big, long run-on sentence, but bottom line, I love you how you are ( and you do excel at many things, you're just too shy to admit it.) :-)

zoo keeper said...

kinda like when there's one finger pointed out there's four pointing back?hahaha that's another reason i lovest thou.

Steph said...

I enjoy your humor. I get you. You complete me. You are the Tom Cruise to my Renee Zelweger... I obviously am not funny.

Congrats on the .com friend.

Camille said...

I think you and I rule the kingdom of self-deprecation. I totally get you! And for what it's worth, I think you're funny! :)

jillytacy said...

I think you rock and I get that it's your sense of humor and not a lack of ability or talent. After all it takes talent to be as funny and sarcastic(in a good way) as you are. Plus you make it look effortless and easy. So keep on doing what you're doing!

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