Santa, Baby!

Every Christmas Eve on CG's side of the family, there is a talent show. Most of the 24 grandchildren perform at least one talent. It's as thrilling as it sounds. Some of the adults even get in on the action. Now, as we all know, I'm just overflowing with talent. Ha, ha! Over the years I have frequently threatened CG with a riveting performance of "Santa, Baby" in all it's Marilyn Monroe glory but have never actually gone through with it. Mostly because I can't really sing.

So, this got me thinking this year. I seem to be thinking about Christmas songs a lot this year...have we noticed?! This time I was thinking about the lyrics of this Christmas classic and as amusing as it would be for me to sing them for a family party, they're not exactly applicable to my life at this point in time. So, OF COURSE, I decided to rewrite them.

Behold! New Santa, Baby lyrics....Chaos style.

Santa, Baby
Santa baby, just slip a sitter under the tree
For me
Been an awful good mom
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa baby, a 2010 Caravan too, light blue
I'll be sound asleep dear Santa baby
So hurry down the chimney tonight

Think of all the sleep I've missed
Think of all the boo boos that I always kiss
Next year I could be just as good
If you'd check off my Christmas list
Boo doo bee doo

Santa Baby, I wanna wife to help me out
With my life
Been a mommy all year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa honey, one thing I really do need
A clean
House that stays that way
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight

Santa cutie and fill my stocking with lots of cheer
And checks
For my mortgage next year
Santa cute, and hurry down the chimney tonight

I don't need you to trim my tree
My girls did a pretty great job for me
They really do believe in you
Almost as much as they believe in me
Boo doo bee doo

Santa baby, forgot to mention one little thing
To sing
This silly song next year
Santa baby, so hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry down the chimney tonight
Hurry....tonight
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!