Names have been changed to protect the innocent...and my husband...and me...but not the dog. His name is Dexter.

Monday, August 15, 2011

You Know Your House Is Hot When....

Our house is kind of hot.  Not terribly hot, but just as hot as you would expect without air conditioning.  Of any kind.  In the past we have used window air conditioners but they're getting a bit old and last year the house still got up to 85+ and it cost us $200+ per month to run them.  Now, most days it gets up to 85+ and doesn't cost us $200 per month.  Very logical, actually.  I've noticed that it's really not bad until it starts getting hotter than 85.  If it keeps going above 85 then it can get uncomfortable.  I have found that my personal breaking point of when the heat really gets to me is 89.  Once it is 89 in the house, I refuse to do any one's hair or dishes.  No exceptions. 

Honestly, the house hasn't been too bad.  We just hang out in the basement a lot, which is nice now that it no longer smells like our former renters dog pee.  The lack of air conditioning in the van....well, that's just no fun.  Cars nowadays are just not designed to not have air conditioning.  There isn't great air flow.  Or windows in the middle that open.  But it is nice and loud on the freeway.  And my hair always looks great after driving....pretty much anywhere. 

So, short story long, I've decided to dedicate this post to all the signs that your house is hot.  Mostly because I thought it would be funny.  Perhaps the heat is getting to me.  Anyway.....

You Know Your House Is Hot When:

*The basement is 81.4 degrees
*The antibacterial ointment melts
*The coconut oil hasn't been classified as a solid since June
*All chocolate must be refrigerated.  Or drank. 
*Cooking is unpleasant
*Washing dishes is even more unpleasant than usual
*The wood floor and tile is very warm to walk on
*The house sounds weird if there are not at least 3 fans running
*I have a completely neurotic way of cooling down the house
*But it totally works
*If it isn't respected, I get annoyed
*Possibly because the house might be reaching 89
*Standing in front of the fridge for no reason seems perfectly logical
*One Mountain Dew a day is no longer enough
*I don't even remember the last time I used a hair dryer
*CG actually takes his shoes off when he gets home

Please feel free to add to my list.  Bonus points will be given for creativity.


Kristina P. said...

Walking around naked is no longer for fun, but out of necessity.

Emily said...

Hahahaha! I love Kristina's addition to the list!

Michelle said...

You're a brave woman. I start to melt around 75*, maybe 80*.

Jillybean said...

Your ice cream is melting faster than you can eat it.

Jillybean said...

The crayons are soft.

Barbaloot said...

You don't have to use lotion cuz sweat makes you smooth enough.

Carrie said...

You guys are all crazy. My AC is set to come on if it's over 72. I'm a San Francisco fog and cool air girl!!

Da'Rell said...

*You're sweating so much a deer and a family of squirrels are following you around and using you for a salt lick.

*You go outside to cool off.

*A 2 minute egg takes 1 minute.

*Your toilet seat is warm in the middle of the night.

*It's so hot you're actually motivated to repent.

*Going 'green' has made your houseplants go brown.

*You can't wait to get up early and go to church.

*You turn on the oven to cool things down.

*If the Pillsbury Dough Boy came to your house, it would be a homicide.

*A 'swirly' actually is tempting.

*You're so hot you're sweating like a hooker in church.

*You can eat twice the cookies cuz you're sweating off the calories.

*Sweating to the Oldies has been changed to Sweating to Everything.

*Being told "You look HOT!" is now considered an insult and grounds for divorce.

*You've forgotten how to operate the dryer, iron, curlers, and stove.

Hope that adds some laughter to your day!

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